SAN FRANCISCO — Colorado mother Sharon Hamilton thought she had a close eye on her son’s technology use. The 15-year-old turned in his cellphone every night at 10 p.m. One evening, Hamilton became suspicious when he frantically deleted text messages before giving over his phone. Her worst fears were soon confirmed.
Read the full article at Forbes.com
KidPhone Advocate’s own Sharon Hamilton shares her ideas about opening the lines of communication, but this time it’s got a different spin. She works with her son Ryan to handle some issues facing today’s families, like Sexting, Texting While Driving and the consequences that go along with those actions. Do your conversations go anything like this? Tell us what you think…..
An insightful post by KidPhone Advocate’s own Child Counselor Expert, Jacques Sumida
If this topic makes you feel uncomfortable, the first thing you tell your child is just that. Often honesty is the best policy, cliché but true, but then it becomes easier just knowing that maybe one or both of us is uncomfortable; common ground with a teen should never be underrated.
1. The Law
An easy starting point for this conversation may also be to talk about the law. It is illegal for ANYONE to view nude pictures of someone under the age of 18. My 15 year old daughter said to me with an exaggerated tone in her voice “What? It’s illegal even if they are the same age?” Yes, difficult to understand, but it is true. The reason it is illegal is because it is technically child pornography. In the hands of a predator an “innocent” picture between girlfriend and boyfriend becomes a lucrative picture to send around the world.
2. Child Pornography
Although I usually do not recommend “shock talk,” in this case sharing with your teen the truths of sexting may be important. A picture sent to one recipient may not stay with just the person it was intended for. Worst case scenario, the nude picture may end up around the world on cell phones and computers within minutes. In some cities around the U.S., teens are being prosecuted for such pictures with a child pornography charge, and sometimes this means registering as a sex offender.
3. Expectations and Limitations
Talk with your child about what they are doing in cyberspace, what social networking sites are they on, and of course who are they texting. Filters on your child’s computer are only one safeguard, having the computer in a public area of the house is another safeguard. MySpace and Facebook can be fun for teens, but limiting the information they provide, setting the security high on the forum, and making sure they do not accept anyone they don’t personally know, are a few safeguards for parents. You should also have their password for these sites to check what they are posting. Don’t worry if you don’t know how to do this, it will be fun to hang out with your teen and learn.
I had a client that accepted a girl from her high school as her friend on MySpace, but did not really know who it was. She later received naked pictures of this girl and immediately reported it to her school. It turns out that this “girl” was really a male from her school and that 3 other girls had received the same offending pictures. The point? YOU NEVER KNOW WHO YOU ARE REALLY TALKING TO ON THE COMPUTER OR TEXTING.
If your teen needs an example of this, then have someone else text them for you and soon they will comment about why you’re acting so weird, which is when you let them know it was really Aunt Jenni texting them. It’s an innocent way of proving your point.
4. More Restrictions
Some teens require more restrictions because they like to push limits. Well, after all, it is a part of being a teen. It is tough to be an informed parent these days. It is best to have frank discussions with teens, but if they continue to push limits, you can consult a professional or restrict the item that is causing problems. For instance, if there are inappropriate texts, then shut texting off. KidPhone Advocate.com can also provide these additional restrictions.
This is a very brief outline, but do not hesitate to get as much information as you can online, at your public library, friends, family, professionals or even your own teen. Knowledge is power! Communication is the key, so even if you’re nervous or give wrong information, the point (especially to children) is you are trying and that you care. If the first talk doesn’t go well, then try two days later and keep going. Teens act like they don’t like us, but they still really do want attention and love from their parents
Did you think that sexting was just a problem in the U.S. – guess again! This news story clearly states that the initial picture was sent to a friend via a mobile phone – and then it was available to the entire world. This story is courtesy of The Sydney Morning Herald, but we’ve seen the headlines in the United States; too many times. How many teens and tweens find themselves in this precarious position – wishing they hadn’t acted on impulse and sent a picture to someone they thought they could trust? As many as one in five teens have sent sexually suggestive photos of themselves to someone else, and a third have received such images, according to a study by the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy. It’s time to help our children to set healthy boundaries and to help them realize that sending or receiving pictures such as these, may have lifetime consequences. Help protect your child by visiting us at www.kidphoneadvocate.com
As reported on CBSNews.com, a physical education teacher in Washington state has been arrested and faces two counts of communicating for immoral purposes and sexual misconduct for allegedly having sex with the 16-year-old student. Police also say Taylor allegedly exchanged over 400 text messages, some contained suggestive content (a/k/a Sexting), with two boys ages 15 and 16, from March through Jun 2009. The trial appears to be a short one as reported by KIMA TV.
Cox Survey Shows 50% of Teens Allow Unrestricted Access to Their Online Profiles and 62% Don’t Check With Parents Before Posting Photos
Those are some awfully scary statistics don’t you think? Has someone you know been cyberbullied or involved in sexting? Help us spread the word about what can be done to protect our children and youth in a digital world.
If you are interested in The National Teen Summit on Internet Safety at 9:30 a.m. EST – tune in tomorrow to: http://www.ustream.tv/channel/coxteensummit
Get the full story details at: http://bit.ly/arN3a4
A thirty-year old man “allegedly” sends naked pictures of himself to an 11-year old little girl – AND he got the child’s phone number from her father! This not-so-new phenomen is called sexting and is on the rise around the world. Has this happened to someone you know and love? We hope not, but if it has and you don’t know what to do - Ask our Law Enforcement expert
Check out the solutions we will very soon release to the public at www.kidphoneadvocate.com
Your teens may be outspoken enough to tell you how they feel about some of your ideas, usually about household rules, but what do your children really think of their bodies, their lives and their place in your life? And think about the idea of sexting (sending nude or semi-nude photographs to others with the use of technology); it’s an impulsive act, and teens don’t generally have good impulse control. Does your child value herself enough to think before acting with regards to sexting? These are tough conversations to start but aren’t the answers worth the risk?
Helping teens value themselves as much as they value their cell phones is a useful place to start. The more comfortable we are about who we are and what we stand for, the more likely we are to draw the line in the sand. So why would teens be any different?
Parents work hard to instill a set of morals in children, but throughout adolescence those morals will be challenged often. Peers with different upbringings may ridicule a child for his beliefs. Teens and tweens themselves will question authority and all they’ve been taught, and that’s an essential part of growing up. But while adolescents struggle with this identity crisis, online predators are finding new ways to tempt our children into dangerous situations. A responsible parent must stay several steps ahead of these criminals in order to let our kids safely develop their sense of self.
Many states are either working to develop or looking to modify the laws regarding the crimes surrounding sexting:
• Ohio House backs making teen ‘sexting’ crime
• Illinois Lawmakers Loosen Teen Sexting Laws
• What is Sexting, and is it a crime in Mississippi?
• Texas Sexting Laws
• Indiana Senators Rush To Put In Place Sexting Law
• Sexting and Free Speech: States like Wisconsin Face Hard Legal Questions
• Colorado lawmakers weigh softened statutory sex-offender language
But is legislation the answer? Can we legislate common sense?
Kids listen to other kids, sometimes when we wish they wouldn’t. Why not use this proven technique to allow our teens to speak about important topics to other kids? Educate 2 Protect is doing just that, helping to facilitate an environment for high school drama departments to speak to school age children about the dangers faced everyday like Internet Safety, Cell Safety, Cyber-bullying and Sexting. How often has your child chosen to listen to a friend and do something you’ve warned them against? Why not turn that peer pressure into a positive experience for all involved? Educate 2 Protect conducts seminars and uses skits based on real-life cases to address issues like Internet Safety, Cell Safety, Cyber-Bullying and Sexting.
So whose responsibility is it to teach our kids to respect themselves? It truly does take a village to raise our children. We cannot sit over our kids’ shoulders 24/7, so we need to use every resource available to us, which begins with conversations at home. We need laws to help protect our children. We need technology to help us help our children understand and set healthy boundaries. As parents we need to work together to share ideas that work and to learn what individuals schools and communities are doing to help combat these crimes. Please share with us your ideas so that we can work together to help protect our children in this digital age.
What’s the image that pops into your head when you hear the words “child pornography”? Prepare to change that image because some of those charged with the crime of child pornography look like more like a high school’s who’s who list than a line-up from Law & Order.
Sexting is apparently the “in” thing to do these days, but most kids are not aware of the legal trouble that such practices can cause. In some states such as Iowa and Florida, minors have previously been facing felony charges because laws have been defining sexting as possession and distribution of child pornography. This means that both senders and recipients of sexting messages could (and already have been) charged with child pornography, even when the images were of themselves.
• In Florida, Phillip Alpert, then 18, was charged with distributing child pornography and put on the sex offenders registry because after a fight, he sent a photograph of his nude 16-year-old girlfriend by e-mail to dozens of people, including her parents.
• In Iowa, Jorge Canal is on the sex offender’s registry because, at age 18, he was convicted of distributing obscene materials to a minor after he sent a picture of his penis by cell phone to a 14-year-old female friend who had requested it. Mr. Canal was 18 when he sent the picture of his erect penis to a 14-year-old schoolmate, along with another picture of his face, with the text “I love you” on it. The girl, identified only by her initials, thought she erased the image, but her parents found it and passed it to the police.
• Last year, a 14-year-old New Jersey girl was arrested and charged with possession and distribution of child pornography after posting dozens of sexually explicit photographs of herself on MySpace.
There are two basic scenarios. In one, a teenager shares a nude picture, usually with a romantic partner. In the other, a partner, or more commonly an ex-partner, distributes the image. Whether it’s fortunate or unfortunate, the law doesn’t care which role the individuals played in the scenario.
Unfortunately, the long-term effects of playing any part in sexting don’t seem to enter into the minds of our youth. The immediate satisfaction of pleasing a boyfriend or girlfriend, or revenge when that relationship doesn’t work out – seems to be an all too common theme for these crimes. This is another case where the laws haven’t kept up with the current technology, times or trends. Do you know what your state is doing in cases involving sexting?
Most of these youths have been implicated under Federal laws such as PROTECT Act of 2003. Such laws prescribe harsh penalties such as felony charges and placement on a sex offender registry for those who possess or distribute offensive imagery such as child pornography.
Last year, Nebraska, Utah and Vermont changed their laws to reduce penalties for teenagers who engage in such activities, and this year, according to the National Council on State Legislatures, 14 more states are considering legislation that would treat young people who engage in sexting differently from adult pornographers and sexual predators. The new Nebraska law makes that distinction, giving a pass to children under 18 who send out their own photograph to a willing recipient who is at least 15. On the other hand, a teenager who passes the photograph on to friends could face a felony child pornography charge and five years in prison.
So how can we help our children understand that ‘pleasing’ someone in the short-term, may have some VERY serious lifelong consequences? Do you feel that more laws, or different laws are the answer? Have you sat down with your children and asked them about this topic? How did you start the conversation and what did you learn? Do you have advice for other parents that you can share to make the discussion a little easier?
Tell us your thoughts.
There’s a lot on the news and on the web about what we should do about those involved in sexting. I’ve been sitting on the fence trying to figure out how I personally feel about it.
There have been several cases which have been prosecuted through the full extent of the law.
• ‘Sexting’ lands teen on sex offender list
• Police expect more ‘sexting’ cases
• Middle school students charged in ‘sexting’ case
• ‘Sexting’ Case Could End in Criminal Charges At Colorado Springs Middle School
• Criminal charges possible in Oshkosh sexting case
To say that the legal system has the entire unfortunate phenomenon of sexting under a microscope is an understatement. Is it doing any good? In the sense of raising awareness I think it is, people are definitely talking about it. Just being aware of a problem doesn’t solve the problem, we need to take action, but what’s the right action?
I don’t believe that the young adults who take their own pictures understand the risk they are taking. It’s not like my generation when if you had the picture you had the evidence; these days it is out there forever. That statement alone should scare these young people.
But all I have to do is set “sexting” as my search criteria on Twitter and I get proof that these young people are not scared. The same type of people who used to brag about their sexual conquests in high school, now have the entire world listening to their ramblings.
As is the case with a lot of crimes, I think we need to get to the intent behind the action. What goes through the mind of the person who sends the pictures out through the Internet? What must they think of themselves to take the risk of putting explicit photos into the hands of others? In the articles I’ve read it seems most often the “sexter” is attempting to cause some type of harm to the person in the picture, whether it’s intimidation or embarrassment.
We as parents need to arm ourselves with every weapon we can get our hands on. The strongest of all is communication with our kids. We need to temper our conversations with the age of the child but if they are on the Internet at all – they need to understand that not everyone is their friend and to always discuss things with their parents.
As with everything in life, Communication is KEY!
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