KidPhone Advocate’s own Sharon Hamilton shares her ideas about opening the lines of communication, but this time it’s got a different spin. She works with her son Ryan to handle some issues facing today’s families, like Sexting, Texting While Driving and the consequences that go along with those actions. Do your conversations go anything like this? Tell us what you think…..
An insightful post by KidPhone Advocate’s own Child Counselor Expert, Jacques Sumida
If this topic makes you feel uncomfortable, the first thing you tell your child is just that. Often honesty is the best policy, cliché but true, but then it becomes easier just knowing that maybe one or both of us is uncomfortable; common ground with a teen should never be underrated.
1. The Law
An easy starting point for this conversation may also be to talk about the law. It is illegal for ANYONE to view nude pictures of someone under the age of 18. My 15 year old daughter said to me with an exaggerated tone in her voice “What? It’s illegal even if they are the same age?” Yes, difficult to understand, but it is true. The reason it is illegal is because it is technically child pornography. In the hands of a predator an “innocent” picture between girlfriend and boyfriend becomes a lucrative picture to send around the world.
2. Child Pornography
Although I usually do not recommend “shock talk,” in this case sharing with your teen the truths of sexting may be important. A picture sent to one recipient may not stay with just the person it was intended for. Worst case scenario, the nude picture may end up around the world on cell phones and computers within minutes. In some cities around the U.S., teens are being prosecuted for such pictures with a child pornography charge, and sometimes this means registering as a sex offender.
3. Expectations and Limitations
Talk with your child about what they are doing in cyberspace, what social networking sites are they on, and of course who are they texting. Filters on your child’s computer are only one safeguard, having the computer in a public area of the house is another safeguard. MySpace and Facebook can be fun for teens, but limiting the information they provide, setting the security high on the forum, and making sure they do not accept anyone they don’t personally know, are a few safeguards for parents. You should also have their password for these sites to check what they are posting. Don’t worry if you don’t know how to do this, it will be fun to hang out with your teen and learn.
I had a client that accepted a girl from her high school as her friend on MySpace, but did not really know who it was. She later received naked pictures of this girl and immediately reported it to her school. It turns out that this “girl” was really a male from her school and that 3 other girls had received the same offending pictures. The point? YOU NEVER KNOW WHO YOU ARE REALLY TALKING TO ON THE COMPUTER OR TEXTING.
If your teen needs an example of this, then have someone else text them for you and soon they will comment about why you’re acting so weird, which is when you let them know it was really Aunt Jenni texting them. It’s an innocent way of proving your point.
4. More Restrictions
Some teens require more restrictions because they like to push limits. Well, after all, it is a part of being a teen. It is tough to be an informed parent these days. It is best to have frank discussions with teens, but if they continue to push limits, you can consult a professional or restrict the item that is causing problems. For instance, if there are inappropriate texts, then shut texting off. KidPhone Advocate.com can also provide these additional restrictions.
This is a very brief outline, but do not hesitate to get as much information as you can online, at your public library, friends, family, professionals or even your own teen. Knowledge is power! Communication is the key, so even if you’re nervous or give wrong information, the point (especially to children) is you are trying and that you care. If the first talk doesn’t go well, then try two days later and keep going. Teens act like they don’t like us, but they still really do want attention and love from their parents
Dear Teen Parent,
We’re looking for parents interested in testing a new cell phone application that will help monitor your children’s cell phone and prevent them from getting into trouble by texting while driving, protect them from cyberbullying and child predators.
The new KidPhone Advocate mobile application will soon be available to purchase and we’re offering it free to the first 30 parents who sign up to participate in the testing program.
It’s easy to sign up. Just go to http://www.kidphoneadvocate.com/support.aspx and write in the comment box that you are signing up for the testing program. To be considered, you must provide the age of your teen and the make and model of their phone. In the first round of testing, KidPhone Advocate is looking for parents with teenage drivers so they can test all three products.
The goal of KidPhone Advocate is to empower parents by putting control back in their hands where it concerns the safety of their children and cell phone use.
We appreciate you taking the time to test this new product and look forward to your feedback.
Listen to Mr. Fishkin’s interview with KidPhone Advocate’s President, Sharon Hamilton
It’s what we’re passionate about. We’re parents, just like you! But we believe when it comes to our new digital age, the focus on the advancement of technology and pressures from share-holders and the market to deliver better gadgets and “toys”, has completely over-shadowed the need to make sure our children are protected as they use and embrace these technologies.
BootCamp — Interview With Fred Fishkin (Twitter @ffishkin)
Kid Phone Advocate’s own Sharon Hamilton was recently interviewed by Bethany Young Hardy with Parent USA City
“The Colorado mother of three had grown concerned about her 15-year-old son’s involvement in an online gaming community. Her son had befriended the leader of his “team,” and that friend had requested that they move their online conversations to a cell phone.”
Read the full article here: Parent USA City
Please check out a recent interview with
Kid Phone Advocate President, Sharon Hamilton by PC Magazine
How often have you found yourself to be distracted by your ‘Smart Phone‘ when you know you should be “in the moment”? Have you ever gotten up from the dinner table to answer that e-mail, Tweet, Facebook or non-life threatening phone call? Society gives teens and tweens a bad wrap for being a “Cell Generation” but a lot of the adults I know could stand next to them in that line. Do we need to do a better job of “Doing as I do” instead of the much overused version “Do as I say?” The CBS News video attached to the full article first ran last Friday.
Read the full article at http://huff.to/dp3lbc
Cox Survey Shows 50% of Teens Allow Unrestricted Access to Their Online Profiles and 62% Don’t Check With Parents Before Posting Photos
Those are some awfully scary statistics don’t you think? Has someone you know been cyberbullied or involved in sexting? Help us spread the word about what can be done to protect our children and youth in a digital world.
If you are interested in The National Teen Summit on Internet Safety at 9:30 a.m. EST – tune in tomorrow to: http://www.ustream.tv/channel/coxteensummit
Get the full story details at: http://bit.ly/arN3a4
Most people grew up knowing the Golden Rule, treat others the way you want to be treated. Unfortunately with today’s technological advances, it has become too easy to hide behind a computer monitor or cell phone preying on our defenseless youth. It’s time to get in front of the predators and help protect our families against these unwanted enemies.
Predators come in many shapes, sizes and ages and are at the top of their game when it comes to new and different ways to entice our children into dangerous and sometimes deadly situations. Every day there are headlines about cyber bullying, sexting and cyber stalking; for every item that makes the news countless others goes unreported.
Do the children you care about know about all the dangers there are from simply turning on their cellular phone? Did you know that predators are randomly calling numbers, waiting to hear a child’s voice either live or in their recorded voice mail message? As simple as that, they can make contact with your child. A similar technique is to send out random text messages, pretending to know the receiver; as simple as that they strike up a conversation waiting for just the right opportunity to take it to the next level. Will the children you know be prepared for these situations?
Sexting is defined by Wikipedia as the act of sending sexually explicit messages or photographs electronically primarily between mobile phones. That very definition seems like a bad idea, so you might ask yourself “How does something like this happen?” The initial conversations don’t necessarily start with ideas of sexting; but they can move to a point where someone wants to please the other so much that this might seem like an almost necessary next step in a relationship. In today’s electronic age nothing is private anymore. What might seem like an innocent exchange of “dirty” pictures can grow to a prison sentence and a lifetime registered as a sex offender. Once an image is created the potential for damage is endless, the person in the picture has no way of knowing where the picture will end up nor who or how many people will see it.
The anonymity of technology takes the school-yard bullying to a whole new level; literally the entire world can witness and participate in activities which have ended as tragically as the victim committing suicide. There have been numerous stories about fake social network pages set up, where the creator can post anything they want and can actually round up fans to join in. The victims can’t escape these bullies because they are harassing them by texting, emails and pictures – all done easily from any cell phone.
We cannot possibly protect our children against everything, but it is time to act to do what you can to help our youth make wise decisions in the digital age.
If you had a way to help the children you love, make wise decisions and avoid these pitfalls – wouldn’t you take action?
Are we losing our ability to socialize? Do kids today choose to handle things face-to-face, or from behind the computer screen? Does the next generation know how to handle their emotions when faced with something serious, or do they solve their anxieties by sending a survey to their friends through their social networking site of the week or by sending a mass text message and awaiting some direction?
With all of the focus on cyberbullying, it has really got me wondering those things. If I traded places with a cyberbully, just for a moment – would it would be easier to be hateful behind a computer screen? Of course it would be. If I had to watch the victim’s reaction in person, would I still be willing to say the things I’ve said behind the wall of technology? I know that kids can be mean, but back in the day if I did something to hurt another’s feelings I had to make retribution. My parents “forced” me to apologize, sit and think about what I had done and asked me to put myself in their shoes. My parents were great with guilt, but it worked and I’m grateful today that I have a conscience. Do we parents know what our kids are doing today with their cell phones, social networking sites or email accounts? Are we doing enough to be proactive or are we just assuming we’ve taught them right from wrong?
If you could, wouldn’t you prefer to help your son or daughter make wise decisions for themselves; not because you think they are smart but because your child realizes there are always consequences to their actions.
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