Sara S. is a teen writer from New Jersey. She spends her time on the beach, with her friends, and immersed in a good book.  She enjoys chocolate milk and romantic comedies.

In these days of instant communication I am finding it increasingly harder to put down my cell phone.  Only when I find a few peaceful hours of sleep is my cell phone laying turned off and silent.  However, with my cell phone rarely out of my arms reach, I can only imagine what my parents think I am doing.  Is she talking to her boyfriend? Is she asking about her homework? Is she making plans for the weekend?   Yet, I hardly think my parents are alone in wondering what their child is doing with her cell phone all the time.

Sexting, or sending racy or lewd text messages, pictures, or videos by means of electronic methods, is a growing trend among adolescents.  It is also a concern among parents of teens, yet it isn’t truly understood by most.  Sexting at its most basic level is a search for attention. Generally speaking, the sender is hoping to illicit a response from a boyfriend/girlfriend, new crush, or total stranger at times.  Obviously such a reckless pursuit of attention is wholly inappropriate.  Teenagers, however, will be more willing to either stop sexting or never start if offered alternatives or reasons as to why such behavior is unacceptable and tasteless.

Make it clear to your teens that there are more meaningful ways to make a connection than sending nude photos or scandalous text messages.  If a teen really wants to make an impression on the opposite sex or deepen a relationship there are alternatives: a trendy, cute outfit, a romantic dinner date, or any number of unique and individual options.  More importantly, sex and the physical aspects of a relationship should only be founded on a strong personal connection: it’s the person, not the body.

Lastly, warn your teens about the potential for embarrassment and ridicule.  Once you send a picture or text message it is forever out of your hands.  Even if the receiver wouldn’t share the most intimate details of a relationship, the phone that contains the evidence can fall into the hands of any number of people.  Also, the sending of racy pictures of any minor is akin to the propagation of child pornography, a criminal offense.

In the end, parents must be aware of the phenomenon of sexting. They must understand the process, why teens do it, and what they can do to stop it.  Parents and teens together can prevent more tragic deaths like those of Hope Witsell and Jesse Logan who hung themselves after their photos were publicly distributed and the shame that followed was unbearable.