It’s a familiar news item now, but heartbreaking still: Another teenager has committed suicide. Friends and family point to social networking sites where peers have mocked and threatened the youngster for months. Parents want to keep their children safe, but how can you protect them against an enemy you can’t see?
Maybe it was one embarrassing moment, captured on one cell phone camera becoming viral on the web as it is sent from phone to phone to Facebook or MySpace for the entire world to see. The damage is done before the victim can defend himself or herself.
It’s happened in New York, in Illinois, in Massachusetts… Alexis Pilkington, 17 years young, died March 21, 2010, Phoebe Prince (November 24, 1994 – January 14, 2010), Megan Meier (November 6, 1992 – October 17, 2006), Ryan Halligan, (December 18, 1989 – October 7, 2003) these are the faces of cyberbullying. The medium has changed, but the psychology remains the same. Wikipedia.org defines Cyberbullying in the following way: “involves the use of information and communication technologies to support deliberate, repeated, and hostile behavior by an individual or group, that is intended to harm others’”
Perhaps you’ve witnessed bullying in your past, and maybe you remember feeling helpless. Did you approach an adult; become a “rat” and risk elevating the situation? Or perhaps an adult told you to “stand up for yourself” or that it was just part of childhood. More than likely you did nothing like the majority of bullying victims (and witnesses). Or maybe you were the aggressor; have you ever thought back to your behavior with regret, wish you could find those people again to apologize for your actions?
Experts say a great way to get information out of kids is during family meals, in which you might ask about the best and worst parts of everyone’s day. In a perfect world this might work but unfortunately family dinners don’t happen as often as in the past. Everyone is being pulled in more directions, with more obligations, and technology keeps us “plugged in” 24/7. That speaks to why cyber bullying is such a problem, there’s no way to break away; the bully literally comes home with you via the cell phone or computer.
In simpler times parents knew their child’s friends because the families lived in the neighborhood, today these friends could potentially be from all over the world, AND not be who they say they are. It is a known fact that online predators represent themselves as someone your child feels they can trust and confide in, when it appears as if there’s no one else. Online predators move quickly and you don’t have time to waste. They can befriend a lonely child and convince them to do things before the youth has time to realize the consequences. That thought should scare you. If there were tools available to help set healthy boundaries for your children, wouldn’t you want them?
One of the latest states to join the fight is Louisiana, “anyone convicted of cyberbullying under the proposal would face a prison sentence of up to six months and a fine up to $500. A second conviction could result in up to one year of jail time and a fine up to $2,000. Third and subsequent convictions would require at least one year in jail and up to a three-year sentence, with a fine of up to $5,000.”
Kids have reported feeling helpless when it comes to bullying. Schools are backing off responsibility. The recent launch of a cyberbullying hotline in Boston has proven that kids don’t want to tolerate this anymore. Our children are scared and want help, though they often don’t know how to ask for it. Help your children to help themselves.
Parents cannot expect the elected officials can solve the problem with laws; the solution must begin at home. It is reassuring to know that when someone is convicted of cyber-bullying there are real penalties, but it can be a long painful way between the act of being bullied and the actual prosecution. Parents have the right to demand that safety measures keep pace with the technology that’s being upgraded and revised daily. The consequence of doing nothing could be the ultimate one, losing your child forever.
Do you have a story of your child or someone you know being bullied by today’s technology? If so, please share your story with us so others can learn about the dangers from parents who have had to face today’s reality.
